We stood at the rock I had run to so many times growing up. With the war ensuing I figured they hadn't moved around, so we had maybe an hour or two until we got to civilization. It was all becoming real to me: the searing pain of my brand, the guilt of leaving my family, the anger in Callow's naive trust in Lesion.... I mourned for my people. When I left I mourned for myself and my brother, but now I realized this was about them; the people I had once resented really were my family, whether I had realized it or not, and I knew I had to mourn for them as well.
Tarka reached her hand out and gently gripped my arm just above the elbow, giving a small twitch of a smile. She knew this would be hard, I think more than I had. I glanced up at the sky, and noticed the sun beginning to pass the top of the sky. It wouldn't be long until it started to get dark.
I tapped my hand against Tarka's and gave her a smile. "Well, we should be on our way now, it'll be getting dark soon." She gave a quick nod and dropped her hand from my arm. "It'll only take an hour or two to get there... if they haven't migrated to a different spot in the desert." I explained, moving around my once-treasured rock.
We walked for a long time, no words being spoken. I respected that about Tarka; we didn't have to have conversations to be comfortable with one another. I wonder what my brother would have thought about all of this. The thought of me telling him about Tarka made me smile. No doubt he would have me sent to the medic for testing. I was picturing the confused look Fastus would have when Tarka and I stumbled upon a giant wooden pole lying abandoned in the dessert. I bent down to look closer and realized, underneath burn-marks, were markings of Callow's old hut.
"We're almost there." I said, glancing at the place his giant hut use to be; it was nothing but sand. "Lets keep going."
It took us about ten minutes to find ourselves in the middle of what appeared to be a ghost land. We walked into town between the cattle's hut and the recruiting tent, but even the usual sounds of the animals was lost. Out of curiosity, I slipped into the cattle's hut, but no one was inside except for a helpless, half starved creature and the smell of what I imagine death to reek of. I backed out as fast as I could, tripping over Tarka who was standing behind me.
Pushing me back to a standing position, she commented, "This looks bad." She looked at me quickly before adding on, "Unless it's supposed to be this way..."
I shook my head, trying to gather myself. "No, this isn't good." A panic started to rise inside of me, and my heart start racing. "My parents." I ran as fast as I could to my parent's hut, and didn't bother to slow down as I rushed inside. "Mom! Dad!"
My mother walked out from behind the flaps that lead to her and my dad's bedroom, her cheeks significantly sunken in, and her eyes heavy with dark circles. She dropped the wooden bowl she was holding and stared at me looking dazed. "Alden?"
My breathing slowed down, but a new fear began to rise inside of me. What if, after all this time, she never knew I wasn't a traitor? What if my own mother hated me? "It's me mom... it's Alden." I choked out.
She exhaled a large sigh, as if she had just remembered to breathe, and her thin fingers of one hand covered her mouth as the other reached out to me.
I grabbed her hand and held it to my face as I stepped closer, letting out a sigh of relief. "Where's dad? What's happened here?" I asked softly.
Her head bobbed a little bit and then she peered into my eyes. "I thought they had you too, they take everyone. Everyone leaves...."
"What do you mean? Where's dad?"
"We are just so small, so frail. The Brackins make us tooth picks, and he laughs at us." She looked at me with an anger I had never seen in my mother in all my years, even though she always seemed so upset with me. "Lesion laughs at us all."
"They sent dad to war, didn't they."
"Everyone leaves." She said, staring off into the distance before her eyes settled on Tarka. "Everyone leaves." She told Tarka.
I moved my mother gently back into her room. "You need some sleep, I'll find you food tomorrow." I gently set her down on the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. "Rest up, I'll be here when you wake up."
When I was sure she had fallen asleep I returned to see Tarka standing awkwardly next to our dinner table. "It looks like Rhythmus' table."
"Yeah..." I said, peering into Fastus' room. Everything looked torn up, and splintered wood scattered the ground. I sighed and moved to look in my room and found everything in order. It made no sense to me that my room would be tidy when I was the traitor in the family, but at least I could let Tarka sleep in there. "My brother's room is trashed, so you can go ahead in sleep on my bed."
With a sigh, I walked back to the table and sat down on one of the cushions. My head spun from everything that was going on, and all I could think is that my mother doesn't hate me like I always felt she did, but what does it matter if I can't keep her safe? I looked up at Tarka, my eyebrows furrowed. What if I can't keep her safe either? I would have nothing, nothing but despair.
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